Not Very Scientific 1 – 16 Year Old Aberlour

(“A good gulp of hot whiskey at bedtime – it’s not very scientific but it helps” – Alexander Fleming)

I’ve decided that, as a bit of a – connoisseur is the wrong word, since I am no-one’s idea of an expert, but addict is perhaps a little harsh – an appreciator, of good whiskey, I would occasionally witter about it, online, for the amusement of anyone who might care.

(Caveat – what I say may bear no resemblance whatever to what is written on the label of any given whiskey as a guide to flavour. I am not a professional taster in any way at all, and react on a purely personal level. Also, I tend to add water; no less than a half the amount of whiskey, no more than double. For me it brings out the flavours. I am aware that others may regard this as blasphemy of a high order).

Onto the whiskey; a birthday present recently received by the beloved.

The bottle itself is pleasing. It’s a fat, cosy, slightly squat shape. It looks friendly. The colour of the whiskey is rich and deep.

The nose is rich too – very sweet. Treacle toffee and the warm coconutty scent of gorse flowers. There’s another subtly floral aroma which was hard to identify – the closest I could get was the scent of pansies; a scent that only seems to emerge in sunlight.

The whiskey hits the tip of the tongue with spice, but the first impression in the mouth is very light and sweet. Then the spice comes back in underneath, strong and gingery.

Once you’re partway down the glass, there’s a slight aroma of peardrops – just a hint of sweet acetone – and Parma violets. It sounds unpleasant, put like that, but in fact it’s interesting and wakes you up again to the changing flavour. There’s more citrus in the spice now, the ginger still pungent but cut with lemon.

And, right in the last third – there’s a surprise – a sudden savour. Smokey bacon. Seriously. Proper, crisp, sweetcure bacon; just the flavour, not the meat, like an aptly-summoned and pleasing ghost.

Altogether a subtle, layered, interesting drink.

This is the end…

In response to Chuck Wendig’s latest Flash Fiction challenge, I thought I’d have a go.  So here is the end of a story that will probably never exist in any other way than this…is this zen?  Or just, you know, odd?

Probably both.

The Pond

“They’re all gone,” Bryony said.  She threw another pebble into the water.  The sound it made was like a small door closing for good.  Clup. 

Marcus watched the ripples wash out for a little way and fade back into the surface.  No-one who passed this pond would ever know someone had thrown that pebble into the water; no-one except him and Bryony.

She had a distant, frozen look. It was partly because of Andrea, he was certain.  There was a hole Andrea had made in their hearts.  A cold and miserable wind howled through it; he wondered if it would ever stop.

He sat down next to Bryony.  He wanted to take her hand, or something, take some of that frozen look away, but he couldn’t quite make himself.  Still a coward, Marcus, that voice in his head.  Even after all this.

“So,” he said.


“We saved the world, and no-one will ever know.”

“Pretty much,” Bryony said.

Marcus picked up a stone, cool and flat in his hand.  Instead of just throwing it, he flicked his wrist.  It skipped across the water, one, two, three-four-five.

“Hey, nice!”  Bryony said.

“Not bad eh?”

“No,” she said, and put her arm over his shoulder.  “Not bad at all.”

The End



Yes, me too – the Next Big Thing

I was tagged by the lovely Marie O’Regan to take part in The Next Big Thing blog hop (at least, I think it’s a blog hop. I don’t have my Advanced Current Internet Terminology badge yet). Anyway, Next Big Thing is right, it appears to be consuming much of the interwebs at this point. So here goes…
1. What is the title of your book?
Dangerous Gifts
2. Where did the idea come from for the book?
It’s a sequel to Babylon Steel, which came out this year. I wanted to have more fun with Babylon, because I enjoy writing her, but also to deal with subjects like prejudice and the assumptions we make about both other people and ourselves, and the difference between tough choices and utterly amoral ones.
3. What genre does your book fall under?
Fantasy. If it was set in contemporary London I suppose it might be classed as urban fantasy; I would also say it has elements of crime and high fantasy.
4. What actors would you choose to play the part of your characters in a movie rendition?
Ooh, I love this part. Michelle Rodriguez as Babylon, Cameron Diaz as Laney, maybe Daniel Craig as Chief Bitternut, John Cusak or Johnny Depp as the sleek but dangerous Darask Fain, Alan Rickman as the mad sorcerer Mokraine…oh, and Jason Statham, with a bit of CGI, as Flower. There are a whole bunch of other characters I’d enjoy casting, but I’ve already spent far too much time on IMDB.
5. What is the one-sentence synopsis of your book?
Babylon Steel, brothel-owning ex-avatar of sex and war is employed as a bodyguard to a prime assassination target in a country on the verge of civil war.
6. Will your book be self-published or represented by an agency?
Dangerous Gifts, like Babylon Steel, is published by Solaris. My agent is John Jarrold.
7. How long did it take you to write the first draft of the manuscript?
I wrote a first draft in about fifteen months. Longer than I’d like, partly because I was also working on another project, since I didn’t know for a while whether I would be contracted for another Babylon book. I then took it to my writers’ group for critique, winced, asked for a deadline extension, ripped out and almost completely rewrote the last two thirds…I think it probably took about 18 months to get to something I could bear to send out.
8. What other books would you compare this book to within your genre?
I always find this a difficult question to respond to without sounding rampantly egotistical – also, I don’t think any writer is quite like any other writer unless you are very specifically writing within a strict format, and even then…right, I should stop avoiding the question. A bit like Scott Lynch, maybe. And sort of slightly like Terry Pratchett, I hope. Only with more sex. And a touch of Angela Carter, if I’m pushing.
9. Who or what inspired you to write this book?
I was really eager to spend more time with Babylon and the rest of her crew, to discover more about the world and the characters. I intended the first book to work as a stand-alone novel, but I had always hoped to do more than one.
10. What else about the book might pique the reader’s interest?
It involves sex, death, the clash of idealism and realpolitik, and futures trading. With swords.
Now it’s time to tag five other authors, who will answer the same questions on their blogs next Wednesday.
They are:
The dangerously charming Helen Callaghan:
The calmly mysterious Andrew Goodman:
The futuristically splendid Dave Gullen:
The gloriously eccentric David Wake:
and…er…to follow! (Because I am the Perennially Underorganised Gaie Sebold).

Cover Story

Dangerous Gifts

I have a cover for Dangerous Gifts, the sequel to Babylon Steel, and I love it.

Cover art is a strange thing. The very thing I love in a cover, the thing that would make me pick a book up and start reading, may be the thing that puts another reader off immediately, and for a wide variety of reasons, or something that’s barely a reason at all. I’ve looked askance at dragons on covers (even though I love dragons) ever since hearing that some publishers have on occasion been known to insist that there be a dragon on the cover because All Fantasy Readers Will Buy Stuff With Dragons, even though no actual dragon may appear in the book. There does recently appear to have been a slight assumption that All Fantasy Readers Will Buy Stuff With Broody Types in Swirly Cloaks, to the point where I assumed that a Broody Type in a Swirly Cloak meant that the contents would be quite a lot like the last three books I read that had that type of cover, and didn’t pick it up – thus the cover had exactly the opposite of the intended effect. At least on me.

What makes a grabbable cover? Picking a few from the nearest shelf: there are Pratchett’s Discworld books, with the delightful, highly coloured, comical Josh Kirby covers. One of those was probably what made me pick up my first ever Pratchett, and after that, of course, the name was enough. Three Flashman books, with, interestingly, completely different styles of cover; two of which, if I didn’t know the series, might intrigue me enough to pick it up, the other, probably not. The Suspicions of Mr Whicher, just for a non-fiction sample; an old-fashioned looking cover, but intriguing enough to make me read the first page, which immediately had me hooked. And a proper old-style fantasy cover; Aldiss’s Helliconia Summer, a weird landscape and strange beasties, the sort of cover that still tends to grab me. It makes the promise of strange new worlds, and a lot of the time, that’s exactly what I want. And lo, there is one broody person in a cloak, (though actually they’ve got their back to the reader so they could be laughing or howling at the moon, not brooding at all). It’s The Old Stories collection by Kevin Crossley-Holland, and actually it’s a gorgeous cover, that I would probably pick up even if I didn’t know the name.

What strange, visually driven creatures we are. And how lucky I feel that I’ve had two fantastic covers. I can’t guarantee how many readers will agree, but I know they’d make me want to pick up the books, so that’s something.

Sweating it out

I am currently in the process of becoming a slightly less rubbish runner; as I have been for the last several years. Last night, for the first time, I managed 3 miles in less than 13 minutes a mile. I know, I know, not exactly Olympic standard; but considering that when I first started I couldn’t run 30 yards without feeling as though Death had decided sit on my chest while he had a smoke, it made me feel pretty good.

I did, though, wake up at 3 this morning due to a set of loudly-complaining back muscles who wanted to let me know that they didn’t appreciate this nonsense, thank you very much.

The Other Half comforted me with the assurance that this is because they are getting stronger. Somewhat grumpish from lack of sleep, I tried to feel it was a worthwhile sacrifice.

But it did strike me that this isn’t dissimilar to getting better at writing. It’s a long process. Small amounts on a regular basis work well, and are less likely to burn you out; after all, if you’d never run in your life and attempted a marathon it would be pretty agonizing and almost certainly doomed to failure.

And yes, sometimes you seem to be getting nowhere. You’re slower than you were last time. Everything aches. You get rejected. The piece you’re working on goes into a slump. Sometimes you don’t want to go running – it’s horrible weather, you’re tired. Sometimes you don’t want to get up early, or sit down after a hard day at work, and hit the wordage.

But eventually, if you keep at it, you start to see some results. You get faster. Your technique improves. Other people notice the difference. You start to sell your writing – or, you start to feel like a runner, not just a jogger. A writer, not just a hobbyist.

Aching muscles and all, it is worth it.

(Oh, and on a completely different note, in response to the drive-by gentleman who said I was ‘just looking for attention’… Sir hasn’t been taking his irony pills, has Sir?)

Too much fun

I’m having fun with the new book. This, of course, is worrying.

This will be the third in the Babylon Steel series; the characters are sparring enjoyably, cool stuff is happening, and I’m pretty much hanging on with both hands going ‘whee!” This is making me rampantly insecure for two reasons. Three reasons. Four…I’ll come in again.

Firstly, I am by nature a worrier. I worry about bills, illness, climate change, getting old. I worry about whether every cool individual shop and pub in existence is being eaten up by boring-pants monolithic chains and one day every high street in the world will look exactly the same and I’ll get lost even more easily than I do now. I worry about what that strange sticky stuff is on top of the cupboard and maybe something in the roof is leaking or maybe there’s a dead alien in the attic and its evil fluid of doom is infiltrating the house and I’ll wake up with tentacles and worse, it will totally trash the value of the house…you know. The sort of stuff anyone worries about.

Secondly, the minute I realise I am having fun and the book is actually going pretty well, it is inevitable that the Gods of Writing are going to sit on my head and afflict me with boils, or worse, a character I didn’t want who insists on doing the wrong thing or a scene that simply doesn’t want to get written, then, when I’ve done it six times, still refuses to work and then has to be cut.

Thirdly, and this is the kicker; am I having too much fun?

Hear me out. I do believe that you should have fun when you’re writing; that passion drives creation, and that if you don’t care about what you’re doing, or are just slogging through it, it shows. On the other hand, if you are simply enjoying yourself, and not thinking about the reader…will you end up appealing only to yourself?

There are authors I’ve gone off – or not read past the first few pages – because their books seemed too self-indulgent. This can take a number of forms; having fun at the expense of the reader, beating the reader over the head with their opinions on stuff I don’t care about and even if I did I should be hearing what your character thinks, not you, constantly referring back to the author’s own work, or just going off on a wild ride to places they wanted to visit, without bothering about whether I might prefer to go where I was led to expect I’d be going and, you know, had packed for.

And yet, rampant hypocrite that I am, I can see that I might want to do the same things, and probably have. And will. So what is the solution? Is there one?

Maybe I should just enjoy myself, and I can start angsting over it all in the rewrite. After all, it’s not as though I don’t have plenty of other things on my mind.

Oh, and the fourth reason? You know, I can’t remember. That’s something else to worry about.

Prometheus – review with Dave Gullen

Went to Prometheus on Friday with my partner, the splendid Dave Gullen. Having stayed up rather too late dissecting it, we decided to do a joint review. So here ’tis.

Prometheus, dir. Ridley Scott.

Dave & Gaie: As the credits rolled, we just sat there. We said ‘Hmm.’ Then we both got up and left the cinema. That says it all, really. However…

Dave: This was a film I was really looking forward to seeing. I love the first two Alien films, and I’m a big fan of Scott’s work: Kingdom of Heaven (you have to see the director’s cut), Gladiator, Black Hawk Down, and Body of Lies.

Gaie: Me too. I love one, three and four of the Alien films: admittedly I loathed Gladiator, but I do adore a lot of his stuff. When he gets it right, he really gets it right. Here, though…

Dave: Overall, the film is incoherent. OK, I trained as a biologist, so the wilful science bollocks got to me:
Q: Are we throwing away three hundred years of Darwinism? (The biologist character asks early on.) A: Yes, we are, apparently. Anyway, under your spacesuit is a RED SHIRT, so it doesn’t really matter what you say.
This hand-waving was the real problem – trying to paper over the cracks results in drawing attentions to the flaws.

Gaie: Yes, If you’re going to have pseudo science, do it. Don’t try and jam it together with real science. I’m no scientist, and even I was going, ‘Oh for heaven’s sake, that makes no sense.’
It would be far better to just use the unobtainium, and go ‘it just does, guys, the interesting stuff is over here, look!’ instead of trying to rationalise a massive logic fail.

Dave: Absolutely. With explanation, less is always more, in the same way scenery is always better on radio. More is always too much. Imaginatively, it doesn’t leave anything for the audience to do.

Gaie: Exactly. And one of the great things about the first Alien film was the way the monster was seen only in terrifying glimpses; your own mind supplies the rest, and it always knows what scares you the most. But this? I had heard there was supposed to be some sort of subtext about invasive penetration, etc. etc. But there was no ‘sub’ about it. It looked, at points, like tentacle porn – and judging by the giggles coming from the row in front, I wasn’t the only one wondering if they’d bought some of their monsters from the local branch of Lovecrafts.

A shame that Scott didn’t take his cue from the first film and keep things mostly hidden, rather than almost literally slapping us in the face with a big wet penis; (a particularly startling experience in 3D). Or, for that matter, smothering someone with what appeared to be a starfish blessed with a ring-a-rosy of vaginas. Was this last an attempt at gender-balancing the whole monstrous sexuality thing? It’s the only feeble excuse I can possibly muster. Anyway, it was mainly just rather icky, in a faintly amusing way that I can’t imagine was intentional.

Dave: Each scene in Prometheus works pretty well, but that doesn’t mean when you string them all together you’ve got a film. There were too many references to the oeuvre that Prometheus seemingly felt obliged to pay homage to, or subvert – the eggs, the space jockey, the Alien itself – while also denying it was a real prequel. Some of these are in the film, some are not, but it felt like this stifled creativity and originality – these references had to be in there and each and every time they killed the great thing that SF does so well by refusing to explain the unexplained: Sensawunda. So they went ahead and explained it, inconsistently and nonsensically.

Gaie: The whole thing felt like a sort of closed loop; like playing a video game where you can’t get past this particular door, and however pretty the scenery, eventually you get bored and go play something else.

Dave: Actually, the actors are pretty good – Idris Elba plays a believable, pragmatic, and, in the end, heroic, jobbing space captain, Michael Fassbender a sinister, malevolent Jeeves of an android, and Noomi Rapace is a very human female lead – who goes through hell, and back (but more of that later).

Gaie: Yes, Rapace was good; it was a shame she was given such wildly improbable things to do. I ended up unable to concentrate on her acting because of the words, ‘You what? You’re kidding,’ ringing through my head. Fassbender was also excellent; potentially far scarier than the monsters. And as for Elba, his was the best-realised human character of the lot, to my mind; a shame he wasn’t foregrounded earlier.

Dave: I also thought the characters behaved inconsistently. The biologist, at first sight of a dead alien, takes fright and runs away, leaving it to the archaeologists. Then, when he sees a slimy little worm creature he plays with it – and guess what, bad things happen, not because he’s an idiot, but because the script says he has to. He’s also part of a very uncomfortable comedy duo with the geologist, the brittle dislike they have for each other disappointingly turns into half-baked silliness as the script throws them away.

Gaie: Yes! This is the first biologist ever to see an alien and he’s going, ‘lemme out of here!’. The collection of characters on the ship seems to be there not because anyone had given any real thought to who might be on this sort of expedition, but in order to have someone to drop in a plot point or get nastily messed with by a slimy sex-toy.

None of the character interrelationships felt properly built or worked out; but then, neither are the majority of the personalities. The interactions seemed to be between bits of scipt, not between people. The potentially interesting characters were generally the more minor ones; but they hardly got a chance to shine. Charlize Theron can do ice-queen in her sleep, which is exactly what this felt like; Dr Shaw’s partner (Charlie/Logan Marshall-Green) actually struck me as a bit of a jerk. Poking other people about their beliefs is a tad adolescent, and just because David is an android, there’s no excuse to be unpleasant to him when you don’t even know he may have a hidden agenda.

Dr Shaw herself (Noomi Rapace) seemed little more than a bundle of angsty survival instinct held together (in the end literally) with surgical steel. She tries to save her lover, she tries to save herself, and only when poked in the spine by the plot does she attempt to save anyone else. She lacks the sense of someone who will take the right moral choice, even when it’s tough, that made Ripley so appealing.

Dave: Only Idris Elba’s character, the ship’s captain, does that. And the relationships between the characters are at times wincingly clichéd.

Gaie: Agh. The Star Wars style revelation moment was the dampest of damp squibs; like a badly chosen Hallmark card left out in the rain.

Dave: Overall, it’s all done by the numbers – the prequel, the setup, the team of disparate souls with secret agenda all fractiously rubbing along. The shock actual ending after the ending, just when you , yawn, think it’s safe. They even had the, admittedly alien, limb slapping the window. Bang! Ooh, scary! This is ripping tropes out of teen-horror, and is sadly derivative. There were too many moments that broke me out of the film with a mental ‘Hang on…’
In particular, one absolutely laugh-out-loud moment during possibly the most traumatic scene in the film.

Gaie: Yes. It should have been utterly grim and scary, but first, the horribleness was undercut by a really weird design choice, and I have no idea what sort of reference they were going for there, but what I got was a ‘huh?’. And, from that moment on I was going; no. No, sorry, that person, in that condition, couldn’t do that. Or that. Or that and certainly not that. I don’t care how good surgery is in the future. Just no.

Dave: So what was good? Cinematically the film is impressive, the design is great, and it’s very beautiful in parts.
That’s it.

Gaie: Yes. Much of it was very, very pretty; and the sense of scale was at times wonderful. But…I needed people in that fantastic landscape I could care about, and they were sadly lacking.

Dave: In a word? Disappointed. In a sentence? Oh my God, Margaret Attwood was right – it is all squids in space.


Sitting pretty

I’m going to be signing copies of Babylon Steel at Waterstone’s in Sutton on Saturday 10 March. 10 am to 4 pm. There I will be, with my pen, a hopeful expression, a little table and a chair; and, one hopes, a source of caffeinated beverages.

I am regarding the whole thing with a combination of delight (Me! A Signing! Waterstone’s! People knowing about my book and maybe reading it and buying it and wanting to talk about it!) and a sort of practical pessimism. (Hey, if no-one turns up, it’s six hours of writing time. In a bookshop. What more could one ask?)

But, rather scarily, I have been informed by Persons in the Know that on occasion people turn up at signings simply in order to buttonhole the author and ask them what The Secret is. You know the one. The one published authors have, the Special Magic Key, that gets you from ‘I haz manuscript’ to ‘I haz contract’.

If this happens, how do you tell them, politely and fairly briefly, that there isn’t one? If someone says, ‘How do I get published,’ what is the best response?
“Read a lot. Write a lot. Next!” seems a bit abrupt. “I don’t know, it just sort of happened”, may be seen as deliberately unhelpful, even though that’s sometimes what it feels like. “Here is a list of my favourite books/blogs on writing, go read ‘em”? “Discipline! Training! Wordcount goals! Get up at 4 am every day for the next twenty years”? “Go visit that little old lady in Schenectady, the one who does ideas”?

Unfortunately the real answer is probably some version of, “All of the above.” (Except the little old lady in Schenectady, of course. I never did manage to find her address).

There is no Magic Key. If there was, I’d have got published much earlier, at an age where there was less risk that 3pm may find me fast asleep and drooling gently onto a pile of books.

Which, of course, is likely to be exactly the moment when the photographer from the local paper turns up.

Squee! Er…gulp…

I’ve been getting reviewed, nicely too. Which is great. (You can see my ego being stroked here, here, and here, if you feel so inclined – there are a few more, too. People have been amazingly flattering).  And I’ve been doing guest blogs and an interview or two, with more due – which are fun, although I’m worried I’m going to start repeating myself and boring everyone if I do many more of them. 

See, there’s where the self-doubt comes sneaking in.  It seems to be an immutable aspect of my character.  And I’m doing a signing – my first ever official, in public signing, at the SFX Weekender on Friday at 2pm.  This is scary enough; what if no-one turns up? What if actual people actually do turn up? Am I supposed to come up with a witty, charming, individual response for everyone? I’ll have been travelling since about 6am – simply remembering my own name is going to be a bit of a strain at that point. 

Even scarier, though, is my first ever panel, at 4 pm on the Saturday.  Not only is it my first ever, it’s at the SFX weekender.  There are thousands of people at that thing, and it’s entirely possible some of them may come to this panel; because it’s stuffed with brilliant writers including China Mieville.  Dear lord, they’ve put me on the same panel as China Mieville.  No fair.  I am convinced I’m either going to sit there in gobsmacked silence, giggle stupidly, or shove my foot so far in my own mouth I’ll disappear entirely.    

Any advice gratefully received.  In fact, if anyone can come up with a way I can channel Babylon for the duration, they will be awarded my everlasting gratitude.  She’d be so much better at this…