I’ve been getting reviewed, nicely too. Which is great. (You can see my ego being stroked here, here, and here, if you feel so inclined – there are a few more, too. People have been amazingly flattering). And I’ve been doing guest blogs and an interview or two, with more due – which are fun, although I’m worried I’m going to start repeating myself and boring everyone if I do many more of them.
See, there’s where the self-doubt comes sneaking in. It seems to be an immutable aspect of my character. And I’m doing a signing – my first ever official, in public signing, at the SFX Weekender on Friday at 2pm. This is scary enough; what if no-one turns up? What if actual people actually do turn up? Am I supposed to come up with a witty, charming, individual response for everyone? I’ll have been travelling since about 6am – simply remembering my own name is going to be a bit of a strain at that point.
Even scarier, though, is my first ever panel, at 4 pm on the Saturday. Not only is it my first ever, it’s at the SFX weekender. There are thousands of people at that thing, and it’s entirely possible some of them may come to this panel; because it’s stuffed with brilliant writers including China Mieville. Dear lord, they’ve put me on the same panel as China Mieville. No fair. I am convinced I’m either going to sit there in gobsmacked silence, giggle stupidly, or shove my foot so far in my own mouth I’ll disappear entirely.
Any advice gratefully received. In fact, if anyone can come up with a way I can channel Babylon for the duration, they will be awarded my everlasting gratitude. She’d be so much better at this…